July 31st, 2015
Tila Tequila Dating Dave Navarro. Yarf.
The shocking part of this news is not that Tila Tequila is dating Dave Navarro. They seem well suited. Esthetically-speaking, at least. I don’t know them personally. Both are reasonably not-hideous in a dirty, skeevy, trampy sort of way. Both wear eye makeup. Both like to have sex with girls.
Ah. Therein lies the news. Tila has made it quite well known that she is a proud bisexual woman. Her reality show, A Shot At Love, had equal parts male and female contestants, all vying for her “love”. Or to get in her pants. Potayto potahto. But it’s been quite some time since she’s been seen gallivanting with a dude. If you recall (and how could you not), Tila was famously (or infamously) dating or engaged to or married or whateverthefuck to Casey Johnson, heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, at the time of her death nearly a year ago.
It seems she’s had enough of the girls and she’s ready for a boy. And that boy just happens to be Mr. Dave Navarro. Ex-Mr. Carmen Electra, Jane’s Addiction rocker, Dave Navarro. They’re either dating, as we’d say in “real life”, or just good friends, as they’d say in Hollywood, because they’ve been seen making out in public (which is famous people’s version of holding hands at the mall) and she’s been photographed doing the morning walk of shame from his apartment.
Another reason I’m shocked – Dave has managed to find someone trampier than Carmen. Bravo, Dave. You should win a prize. And a real prize, not one of those sexually transmitted prizes you’re sure to receive if you try to out-ho Tila with your next girlfriend.
You have no idea how hard it was to find a picture of Tila that wasn’t too porny and didn’t give my computer a virus. I should get my own prize and that prize would be never having to look up pictures of Tila Tequila ever again. But I don’t think I win the prize because that picture up there is pretty porny. Meh. I did my best.